Superpowers
How do we promote breastfeeding and spread the word about its benefits in a positive way, that doesn’t make those women out there who couldn’t or didn’t breastfeed feel badly and defensive about it? This is something I have found difficult to navigate since I first started working in this realm of healthcare. I am still working on an answer but wanted to share a story of why I feel strongly about promoting and protecting breastfeeding in a constructive way.
Two and a half years ago I had my first daughter. I am a perinatal nurse who works in postpartum and labour delivery wards. I have a degree in nutritional science and at that time also had extra education related specifically to breastfeeding. So I knew all about the multitude of reasons why I wanted to breastfeed. I knew all of the health benefits for my baby and for myself. On top of that I felt like it was something I had to do. My daughter was a breech baby and a booked C-section delivery. I grew this baby inside me and wasn’t able to give birth to her the way I would have liked but the breastfeeding part was going to happen. To me breastfeeding is an extension of pregnancy and birth, it is the natural next step where my body continues to nourish and grow this little being. I had inverted nipples and knew it would be challenging to feed at first but was confident I could work through those struggles successfully.
Fast forward three months to the beginning of October. My daughter was 3 months old and it was World Breastfeeding Week. As part of this celebration they have an event where breastfeeding mothers get together and try to have as many as possible latch on together at the same time. At this point my daughter was finally latching back to breast. This was after many struggles which included a three week break while she bottle fed and I received wound care and rest for my severely damaged nipples. I had finally gotten her latching again and was still struggling with pain and a poor milk supply.
Even so, I had colleagues that I knew going to this breastfeeding celebration and I was going to go celebrate the fact my daughter was latching too. That part went fine, she latched and fed (although I was still awkward with it). I got my door prize and left, knowing I needed to give her a bottle when I got home because what I had was not enough.
On my way out I passed others wearing stickers that said “I make breastmilk, what’s your superpower?” In my case the whole postpartum breastfeeding experience had made me feel as powerless as I have ever felt in my entire life. That sentence on that sticker seemed to be confrontational and in my face and made me feel even worse about the fact that I was on mega doses of meds and doing everything I could to increase my milk supply and still not getting there.
Days later I was searching online for breastfeeding and formula information, as many of us who struggle will do, when I came across the image of this t-shirt that said “Love is my superpower”. When I found this I started to cry. That message reminded me of the importance of my relationship with my daughter and what I needed to focus on giving her throughout her entire life, regardless of how I fed her now. I felt like less of a failure and also less alone. Obviously I was not the only one who had felt terrible and put down when they saw that pro-breastfeeding sticker. It looked like this t-shirt had been created in response to that particular pro-breastfeeding message.
That may seem like a dramatic reaction to a well-intentioned pro breastfeeding message. However, I feel that anyone who has struggled to adjust postpartum to a new baby and struggled with feeding might understand. In that period of time it can be incredibly difficult to deal with all of life’s stresses and being reminded that I’m not a superhero exclusively breastfeeding my baby was really hard. I couldn’t help but take it personally at that point in my life.
The struggles I faced are part of what led me to my current position trying to help others who are going through difficulties in feeding their littles ones. I am pro-breastfeeding and don’t mean to put down the work that those that promote breastfeeding do. I do question the usefulness of some of the messages they send out. I’m not sure who that sticker was helping or supporting. For those that can produce milk and breastfeed without struggle I’m not sure they need that specific reminder of their power. For those that are struggling one way or another or for whatever reason did not breastfeed that sticker just pushes them further away from other breastfeeding information or resources.
Above all love is our superpower as parents. We love our babies and that’s why we struggle to know and do what’s best for them in all aspects of their life from feeding to sleeping to teaching and the list goes on. We need to support everyone in the best way possible with this enormous task that’s placed on us when we have a baby and remember the goal. Love.